Clinical Psychology

» redback - Take charge

They're 10 good questions, Laurie. I agree. We CAN be more in control so for me, I'd probably re-jig some questions to better reflect my feeling of control.

Safety first. Sometimes limiting the dose to ensure we still drive the bus or whatever, is not an optimum treatment plan or dose. How SOON can I get back to driving the bus? What's OUR plan to get me off these drugs?

It's a 2-way conversation. Being frank & honest with the doctor about all the ingested stuff helps the doctor make better decisions. The so-called recreational drugs can and do counteract the effects of anti-depressants. And aim to or expect to be told to leave the grog alone for awhile.

A lifetime ago, I went on a 3-month plan, subject to review. A mix of anxiety and depression..."stress". Needed a big dose initially to break the cycle, to actually sleep and re-charge physically. As I returned to work on a graduated plan, the dose reduced to the zero it remains today.

Don't give up if it may need to last indefinitely. Tis no different to the need to take medication for all other problems. And I know how annoying that can feel. It's a stage you will get through.

-- posted by redback

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» Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen - Take charge

In response to Take charge posted by redback:

Thanks for this. It really does help to remind yourself that this is a stage you'll get through! About a month ago I was dealing with a wrenching heartbreak (sisters can be CRUEL); through my wailing and gnashing and rending of garments, I kept telling myself this will pass. The tears, the heartbreak, the pain -- it will lift and all will be well again.
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I just wish I had the eyes of my youth! The naivete, the innocence, the optimism, the hope...I feel more jaded and grown up now -- especially in light of Iraq, school shootings, etc.
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Stupid bad things.

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» redback - Take charge

In response to Take charge posted by LauriePK:

It's difficult to analyse things in the heat of the moment but sometimes one's profession requires it. A lifetime ago, I went through a serious marriage meltdown (wife paranoid schizophrenic) while at work trying not to respond to a recently separated female 'client' who exclaims: "You wouldn't have a clue what I'm going through!"

My own severe stress reaction while managing the very staff support team designed to help. Lodging a compo claim to show staff it is OK to do it. Knowing in full the theory of what they SHOULD be doing for me while they stuffed it up.

A brother not talking to me for 8 years...until recently...and even now egg shells. This was a brother I had lent my ear on a daily basis for several months while he went through a painful separation and messy divorce.

To name but a few during my adulthood.

Think of the 3 sides at least to every coin.

-- posted by redback

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» Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen - siblings not talking to one another

In response to Take charge posted by redback:

Did you ever wonder what your role was in your brother's not talking to you? I know my sister's pretty messed up, but I keep wondering how I contributed to the mess, & I wish she could tell me (she keeps saying she doesn't know). Did your brother ever talk to you about not talking to you?
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I think it's a control issue.

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» redback - siblings not talking to one another

In response to siblings not talking to one another posted by LauriePK:

"...Did your brother ever talk to you about not talking to you? I think it's a control issue."

Maybe it's a safety issue? We all went through a VERY bad time when I was a kid, some of us worse than others. Bad stuff+++ but now half a century ago. Also, one sister adopted out...re-united in 1988 some 30 years later. Another sister fostered out pending an adoption that never hapened. Much of the problems are related to his struggles with bipolar (again back off his medication) and much related to childhood trauma. And how he measures the (inadequate) relative support within a fractured family.

We have resumed talking which is always about him...and we never mention the 'war'. He can't meet as arranged with other family due to unexplained what he calls..."issues".

"I know my sister's pretty messed up, but I keep wondering how I contributed to the mess, & I wish she could tell me (she keeps saying she doesn't know)."

Who's to blame OR the how/when/what of help she might refuse to accept?? She won't tell you OR can't tell you? Put your objective psych hat on. Sometimes the core issue is staring us in the face.

"Messed up" is good technical stuff. First off and a rough guess, an issue is the risk to her mental health and the strength of your mental health.

-- posted by redback

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» Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen - siblings not talking to one another

In response to siblings not talking to one another posted by redback:

Your brother is bipolar; my mother is schizophrenic. Psychological disorders like that seem to automatically rupture relationships because they (relationships) are difficult enough without throwing in wonky emotions and distorted ways of thinking! So it's understandable to have disconnection with brothers or mothers in those cases.
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But it's HARD to put the objective psych hat on! (whine whine whine). I know, I have put it on and I understand as much as I'm able what's going on....I'm just hurt. I just wish things were different.
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If "messed up" is good technical stuff, how do ya like "wonky emotions"?
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It is what is is. I LOVE knowing that we can control our health by what we think about! (see the article called Marital Conflict). And I can feel my body respond differently when I think about sad vs. angry vs. happy things.
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We have more control than we know. Except when we have none.

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» redback - siblings not talking to one another

In response to siblings not talking to one another posted by LauriePK:

"We have more control than we know. Except when we have none."

You suggested your sister's "messed up" actions may be "controlling"? May your god grant you the serenity to know the things you shouldn't control so you should not grieve that loss of power.

Wonky and shonky are in my vocabulary. ABC

-- posted by redback

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» Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen - siblings not talking to one another

In response to siblings not talking to one another posted by redback:

Hmmm. What's shonky?
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Hmmmmmm.....I don't think I'm grieving loss of power. "Controlling" may be wrong, I don't know. Yes, it's definitely not the main issue here, now that I think about it.
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At any rate, I'm getting tired of trying to figure it out! It is what it is, and I'd like to focus on other things! Good things.

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