Clinical Psychology

» redback - siblings not talking to one another

"...Did your brother ever talk to you about not talking to you? I think it's a control issue."

Maybe it's a safety issue? We all went through a VERY bad time when I was a kid, some of us worse than others. Bad stuff+++ but now half a century ago. Also, one sister adopted out...re-united in 1988 some 30 years later. Another sister fostered out pending an adoption that never hapened. Much of the problems are related to his struggles with bipolar (again back off his medication) and much related to childhood trauma. And how he measures the (inadequate) relative support within a fractured family.

We have resumed talking which is always about him...and we never mention the 'war'. He can't meet as arranged with other family due to unexplained what he calls..."issues".

"I know my sister's pretty messed up, but I keep wondering how I contributed to the mess, & I wish she could tell me (she keeps saying she doesn't know)."

Who's to blame OR the how/when/what of help she might refuse to accept?? She won't tell you OR can't tell you? Put your objective psych hat on. Sometimes the core issue is staring us in the face.

"Messed up" is good technical stuff. First off and a rough guess, an issue is the risk to her mental health and the strength of your mental health.

-- posted by redback